You're sick, and everybody in town knows it.
The ladies in the dollar store and the sewing store and the Walmart know. They've seen you
nervously shuffling out the door with huge bags chock full of nail polish and feathered boas
and pantie elastic and sequins. Your nervous "Fishing supplies, heh-heh!" isn't fooling one of
them for a minute. You think they don't KNOW what's going on at your house every night?
The neighbors' children, the ones with the pet chicken, know. They've seen the way you look at
her, and they know that one night soon she will come home ravaged and featherbare. And they
know that, as she bravely heals, it will happen again and again.
The local truckers know. They've seen you almost cause a pileup when you spot that roadkill.
They've seen the tailless deer and wingless birds that mark your grisly trail.
The local vice officers know. They've staked out your "fly shops", where our teenaged daughters
go in with hundreds of dollars and come out dressed like Dog the Bounty Hunter in drag.
The only question now is whether we can pass our legislation in time, the Mandatory Lifetime
Flytier Registration Act, so that your picture is everywhere, so DECENT people will KNOW that
you spend your nights cutting up dollar store holographic pompoms and Halloween wigs to feed
your sickening addiction. So our children can be warned to stay away from internet hellholes
like this one, where "your kind" band together and share your perverted values, where you can
talk about "head cement" and "waving your rod" and "stripping" and "making a presentation".
You're just ANIMALS! ALL of you!! Sick, sick ANIMALS!!!
Sincerely,
Bertha J. Witheringhammer-Schmutz, National Chairwoman
Save-the-Earth-By-Hugging-Skunks Ladies Auxiliary
Rainbowunicornville, CA
You're SICK!!!
Re: You're SICK!!!
And I thought I was the only one that thought about that dead racoon on the road........
Senior Exalted Pro Staff Member of the Paddle-Fishing.com Kayak & Canoe Anglers Club
"SANCTUARY!!!"
Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
"SANCTUARY!!!"
Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
-
- Posts: 2533
- Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm
- Location: Among the Mangroves of W. Central FL
Re: You're SICK!!!
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. ha!! Too Funny!!!!
GIL
"Only the half-mad are wholly alive." ~~~ Edward Abbey
"Only the half-mad are wholly alive." ~~~ Edward Abbey
- BearsFan
- Egotistical Prick
- Posts: 4040
- Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm
- Location: 32303, its like 90210 but with more beer
Re: You're SICK!!!
I got some primo fox a few months back....
Senior Exalted Pro Staff Member of the Paddle-Fishing.com Kayak & Canoe Anglers Club
"You think you have problems now? Follow your instincts, it will get worse" -Hatch
"You think you have problems now? Follow your instincts, it will get worse" -Hatch
Re: You're SICK!!!
Sooo ya tan the stuff?
Senior Exalted Pro Staff Member of the Paddle-Fishing.com Kayak & Canoe Anglers Club
"SANCTUARY!!!"
Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
"SANCTUARY!!!"
Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
- BearsFan
- Egotistical Prick
- Posts: 4040
- Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm
- Location: 32303, its like 90210 but with more beer
Re: You're SICK!!!
Not sure. It is still in the freezer with a bunch of wood ducks, I promised to some friends in CO, that still need to be skinned and cured.
Senior Exalted Pro Staff Member of the Paddle-Fishing.com Kayak & Canoe Anglers Club
"You think you have problems now? Follow your instincts, it will get worse" -Hatch
"You think you have problems now? Follow your instincts, it will get worse" -Hatch
Re: You're SICK!!!
I feel better. I'm new at this and have been looking at critters, alive and dead, a little differently. Glad it's not just me.
Senior Exalted Pro Staff Member of the Paddle-Fishing.com Kayak & Canoe Anglers Club
"SANCTUARY!!!"
Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
"SANCTUARY!!!"
Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.