A Sincere Apology

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Dear Fellers,

I'm askin' ya'll to forgive me. Even though I've been a lifelong paddlefisherman an' wouldn't own a stinkbarge
if ya put a gun to my head, I got money-hungry last year an' put out that horrifyin' "Powerboat Babes"
album. An' even though the single, "She Left Prop Scars On My Heart (And Rugburns On My Knees)" went
to #347 on the Cuttin' Board Magazine charts, I jist felt so bad that I had sold out an' not wrote no songs
'bout my one true love, kayakfishin'.

Wellsir, I'm puttin' things right this summer with the release o' my new album --- which is all about nothin'
BUT kayakfishin' --- an' I decided to post up here with a lil' preview, so ta speak.

Them grouper-faced, cigar-chompin' New York shysters that run my current record label won't let me post
the actual music video up here, an' said I couldn't post nothin' but the lyrics, so you gotta kinda pitcher it
in your head with that big ol' sawin'/skippin' di-di-di-wop-wop-waaaaaaaw fiddle intro and them pedal steels
cuttin' in on the refrain and all three o' the JimBobettes squawlin' the backup like gut-shot limpkins:

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"The Mudflats of Your Love"
by Bubba Joe Jim Bob Beets & Raylene Ledbetter

I know you're mad I went kayakfishin' right after our big fight
And that's why I left this note for you on the tree out here last night
And I'm sorry I left them trailer ruts right through your flowerbed
But it was hard to drive with them hollowpoints a-whizzin' by my head

I'm sorry I shaved your Siamese to make bass flies yesterday
And when you calm down I'm sure you'll think she looks real good that way
And I'm man enough to just admit that that hogleg had me scared
But I'd be on you like scuppersludge, if I thought you still cared

I'd whisper love words in your ear, I'd hold you and we'd dance
If you'd put down that large-frame Smith and give me half a chance

All I do out on those flats all day is think about your face
I picture you in high-heeled waders, struttin' 'round our place
And when I head home this afternoon, I'll ask the Lord above
To let me plant my stakeout pole in the mudflats of your love

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Anyhow, I'm countin' on ALL you fellers to run right out an' buy my new kayakfishin' record album when it
gits re-leased. But fer those o' y'all that's hard up from tackle-buyin' binges, we're gonna put out a single.
(The flip side is a bouncy little Texas Swing number based on a real-life ex-perience where I was teachin'
them two little Blivens gals to flycast last summer. It's called "That Ain't the Eight-Weight (But Don't Stop
Now)", an' it'll be available jist as soon as that Statue o' Limitations thing runs out.)

Sincerely,

Bubba Joe Jim Bob Beets, Jr.
Big-Time Nashville Songwriter & Kayakfishin' Country Music Star
c/o Raylene's Titty Bar, Bait Shop an' Recordin' Studio

PS --- Don't let that cover photo on the album throw y'all off none. Them marketin' jokers tolt me I had to
dress like that for the photo shoot, an' I wanna assure each an' every one of ya that I DON'T normally
wade the flats in a rhinestone-covered Nudie Suit.

[Manning]

[Norm]

Tommy...is that you

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Tommy...is that you

tommy.gif

[Mark R]

I used to know a fellow named Joe Jim Bob Beets Jr., everyone called him Bubba or Jr (hated that). Lived kinda out in the sticks between Floral City and Inverness. You know Bobby and Pete Griffin?

[mauso1]

Shoot won't be long and ya'll will have enuff fer an album.
New titles like " My stateout pole can't touch bottom " Come swing on my trolly line '" and for the elder statesmen herd " Honey help me lift my boat"

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You know Bobby and Pete Griffin?

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[Mark R]

You know Bobby and Pete Griffin?

You remember their Mom and Dads names?

[howitser]

Thanks the amazing distractions brother, always a Gaffaw!!!!

[backinthemangle]

Thanks the amazing distractions brother, always a Gaffaw!!!!

It's the meds. They've really helped the Traumatic Brain Injury, and I can now keep having
perfectly normal fishing-related thoughts, like.......

ripper.jpg

[backinthemangle]

Oh, no, here comes another kayakfishing head-movie!

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It's the side effects, man. It's the side effects.

[Mark R]

Bubba I used to know did get kinda busted up in "Nam".

[Mark R]

Aright Yote, busted!